Why?
by Kits
Summary: Just a poem on why the heroes do that voodoo they do...
1. Default Chapter

Papa Bear Awards  
  
What is Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction? For each and every fan. It's a way to play in one of our favorite TV Universes. It's a way to keep the fun alive through our imaginations. It's a way to share ideas with other fans. It's why we now have the Papa Bear Awards for Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction!  
  
Hammelburg, Germany, Luft Stalag 13, Kommandant Klink's Office  
  
October 28, 1944 0930 Hours  
  
Colonel Robert Hogan, the Senior POW Officer of Luft Stalag 13 offered Kommandant Klink a casual salute as he took his cap off and flopped it onto Klink's desk, not coincidentally making sure it landed on top of the Kommandant's WWI Pikelhaub.  
  
"What is it this time Hogan?" Colonel Wilhelm Klink asked eyeing his Senior POW Officer with trepidation over the top of his desk. With a sigh, he retrieved the American Officer's cap and moved it to another spot on his desk.  
  
Hogan smirked sheepishly as he sank into one of Klink's office chairs. "Well sir, it's like this. Morale here at Stalag 13 has been poor lately, what with the budget cutbacks and the arrival of all the new prisoners. The men need something to distract their attention from the long hours of inactivity. So I thought we could hold a contest, you know to increase the men's morale," Hogan replied with his most innocent expression.  
  
"A contest? What sort of contest?" Klink asked skeptical, but clearly considering the idea. After all, if the prisoners stay content, they won't try and escape, which could only enhance Stalag 13's no escape record.  
  
"A Fan Fiction Contest," Hogan clarified with confidence.  
  
"Fan Fiction? What is this Fan Fiction, Hogan?" Klink asked warily. Hogan's up to something again. I just know it. Why do I let this man keep playing his games? Maybe because I enjoy them as well. But I will never ever admit it, of course.  
  
"As I'm sure you know Kommandant," Hogan began hoping to forestall any more questions from Klink, by embarrassing him into agreement. "It's where stories, written by fans of a specific genre, are judged in a contest under specific categories. In this case the genre in question would be Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction. That is, stories written about the exploits of my men and I here at Stalag 13."  
  
"Oh. Of course," Klink agreed not wanting to appear at a complete loss. I've never heard of this Fan Fiction. "Well Hogan, that sounds very interesting. But you've just admitted to how bored your men are. What exploits can we be discussing? No wait. I don't want to know because I have a better idea. This contest will be about the men of the Glorious Luftwaffe stationed here at Stalag 13. This genre will be referred to only as Klink's Conquering Heroes Fan Fiction," Klink stated emphatically.  
  
"No," Hogan replied adamantly, but then thought better of his attitude. He continued more calmly, "Remember Kommandant, this contest is for the POWs morale. If we called it that, they might all try to escape, just on the principle of the thing. So it has to be referred to as Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction."  
  
"Oh yes. I guess that's always a possibility," Klink agreed dejected. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I get carried away," Klink said with the wind knocked out of his sails.  
  
Hogan was actually feeling a little bad for the Kommandant. So to ensure that he stayed agreeable to this contest Hogan decided to butter him up a little. "You know Kommandant. You and your men will most certainly be mentioned in the stories. And I'm sure that the stories will portray you and your men in a favorable light as you have always treated the POWs here with respect. I'm sure no one would write anything disparaging about the Iron Eagle and his men."  
  
"You think so Hogan?" Klink asked hopeful as his excitement about the contest began to rebound. "So this 'Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction Contest'. exactly what will it entail?  
  
"Well," Hogan began. "Every prisoner, as well as you and your guards of course, will get a chance to nominate their favorite Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction stories based upon several categories. But we have to make the stipulation that the stories are complete by the time nominations begin. (Which will be on November 1, 2002). Everyone will be able to nominate up to two (2) stories per category. But, no one should nominate the same story for more than one category, instead they should nominate the story for the category, which in their opinion, best fits that story. And every story nominated must have a viable Web Address. Um. I mean Code Name," Hogan began.  
  
"What's this Code Name? How does it work?" Klink interrupted.  
  
"A Code Name will tell everyone where that story is archived. It's also referred to as a URL, which stands for Uniformed Resource Locator. Authors of Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction are known to give their literary masterpieces these Code Names so other fans can locate and enjoy them," Hogan explained.  
  
"Oh. That makes sense. So, what are the categories to be nominated?" Klink asked.  
  
"The categories are." Hogan began. "Best Drama -- A story with the strongest, most compelling dramatic impact. Best Comedy - A story with the funniest moment or plot twist. Best Original Character - A story with the Best portrayal of an Original Character created by a Fan Fiction Author. That is a character that would have made life here at Stalag 13 more exciting in any way. This category will be nominated as follows: Character Name, followed by the Title of the story he/she appears in. Best Crossover - A story between two (or more) fiction genres combined, but one of which must be Hogan's Heroes. Best Challenge - A story in response to a challenge posted by any POW to a 'Smartgroups' List. From what I remember, these would include, but are not limited to: The Word of the Month Challenge, The Request for Holiday Fan Fiction, The use of Santa Claus or Angels in Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction. Best Portrayal of a Cannon Character - A story with the Best portrayal of a Cannon Character. A 'moment' or a 'most in character performance' written by a Fan Fiction Author. This category will be nominated as follows: Character Name, followed by the Title of the story he/she appears in. Most Unique - A story with the Most Unique plot. It could be a unique plot twist, or simply a very unique writing style. This one would be up to everyone's interpretation. Best Song-fic / Poetry -- The Best written piece of Song Fiction or Poetry. Best Short Story 5000 -- The Best Overall Short Story that is LESS THAN 5000 words. And finally." Hogan finished. "Best Overall Story - A story that one considers the Best Overall Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction. Ala, the Crème of the Crop. Or if you wish. the Preeminent Piece of Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction. The um. Well you get the picture!"  
  
"How will nominations be taken?" Klink wondered busily writing down the categories. He had lots of reading ahead of him. He was determined to find all the stories in which he was featured prominently! I wonder how many stories there are?  
  
"Nominations will be taken via Intra Barracks Email to the Nomination Committee. The Nomination Committee will consist of the following prisoner; Kits (GdssOfHnt@hotmail.com)," Hogan said carefully spelling the out the Name, Rank and Serial Number of the prisoner, so that Klink could locate her easily. "Once nominations begin on Friday, November 1, 2002, everyone can submit their nominations to Kits for four (4) weeks. Nominations will therefore end on Sunday, December 1, 2002."  
  
"How many stories are actually out there Hogan?" Klink asked curious.  
  
"Personally," Hogan explained proud of the impact that his men have had to garner so many stories written about them. "I've seen as many as 145 stories in one place, but I know there are many more out there."  
  
"Is four weeks enough time Hogan?" Klink asked worried. "I won't be able to read. I mean. Does that give your men enough time to read them all?"  
  
"I know it isn't much time, but there's a war on," Hogan admonished. "We all have to make sacrifices."  
  
"Yes. Yes of course," Klink agreed. "Then what happens?"  
  
"Well," Hogan continued. "After the nominations close on the first of December, the nomination committee will pass the nominated stories and their URLs to the prisoner who will create the final voting ballot."  
  
Klink nodded in understanding and gestured for Hogan to continue.  
  
"The final ballot," Hogan explained. "Will be posted to the following URL, (http://home.att.net/~laurenoboe/papabearawards.html). And once voting begins on Friday, December 6, 2002, everyone will have six (6) weeks to cast their final votes. The voting will end on Friday, January 17, 2003. It is strongly recommended that everyone read every story nominated in the category for which they will cast a vote. We wouldn't want any treaty violations. Each person will only be able to vote on one (1) story per category, though each prisoner need not cast a vote in each category," Hogan said.  
  
"Well six weeks is more humane Hogan," Klink replied in relief. I thought I was going to have to lock myself in my office in order to read all of the great fiction I want to nominate! "How will the winners be announced?"  
  
"The winners will be announced on Saturday, January 18, 2003. The winning story names and authors will be posted by category on the URL hosting the awards, as well as being posted as a message to the Smart Groups email group for Hogan's Heroes."  
  
"How can you join this email group?" Klink asked thinking that it would be a great place to find out more information about Hogan's Heroes. Just what HAD his prisoners been up to anyway?  
  
"You can go to www.smartgroups.com, and join the Hogan's Heroes Group," Hogan explained.  
  
"Ok good. What will the winning authors receive?" Klink asked.  
  
"There will be a Gold, Silver, and Bronze Award for each category," Hogan replied. "Each winning author will receive a picture that they can display prominently boasting of their accomplishment."  
  
"A picture? What will this picture be of?" Klink wondered enthralled at the idea.  
  
"A Papa Bear along with a Gold, Silver or Bronze Ribbon inscribed with the Story's Title and Category won," Hogan replied with a smirk. "Each picture is going to be hand-drawn by Sergeant J. Peg. He has shown himself to be an excellent artist."  
  
"I see. But tell me, what is the significance of this Papa Bear?" Klink asked not sure he really wanted to know. I know that that is the name of the most infamous spy the Allies have. I just wonder what it means to Hogan?  
  
"Ah. You don't know Kommandant?" Hogan asked sarcastically. "I wanted to honor the Heroes that will end this war with a victory for the Allies. The code name Papa Bear is a symbol for all those men working hard toward that goal."  
  
"In your dreams Hogan," Klink groaned. "Just don't let Hochstetter see you handing those out to the winning authors."  
  
"No sir. Of course not," Hogan deadpanned innocently. "So do we have your permission to hold the First Annual Papa Bear Awards?"  
  
"Certainly. Nominations can begin on Friday, November 1, 2002," Klink said granting his permission.  
  
"Thank you sir. Your generosity will not be forgotten," Hogan offered. "I know the men will remember this when General Patton's tanks roll up to the gates of Stalag 13."  
  
"Get out of my office Hogan," Klink said frustrated with the arrogant American. "Before I change my mind!" Klink watched Hogan retreat from his office without another word. "Fraulein Hilda!" Klink yelled. When Hilda appeared at his door he ordered, "I don't want to be disturbed for the rest of the day!"  
  
Hilda just nodded and closed the door to the Kommandant's Office.  
  
So now, I guess it's time to get reading, Klink thought as he leaned back in his chair and read the notes he'd scribbled. I just wonder how many stories I'm actually in. And I can't help but wonder how accurate these exploits of Hogan's will be documented. Ah no mind. There can be no truth to these stories.  
  
They are fictitious by definition and design.  
  
The End  
  
Please join us in voting for your favorite Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction! Help us make the First Annual Papa Bear Awards a Success!  
  
Nominations begin on Friday, November 1, 2002 Nominations end on Sunday, December 1, 2002 Voting will begin on Friday, December 6, 2002  
  
Voting will end on Friday, January 17, 2003  
  
Goto: http://home.att.net/~laurenoboe/papabearawards.html for more information and a nomination form! 


	2. Onto the Poem

Duty, obligation, and honor, It's all a fraud--all a sham, Sometimes he likes to ponder, But... damn! It's his job, as Colonel would say, And it is, and he does it, Without complaint, every day, But how much does he forfeit? When he looks at the faces, Of those he saves from a Kraut, He never finds traces, Of his own misplaced doubt. 


End file.
